Enter: Chili-mouth!

Have you ever wondered how chili is made?
I have.
One day my co-workers and I found the "holy grail" of chili. It was at McDonalds (the one in Toledo on Central Avenue) where we witnessed a crazy man produce chili right before our very eyes!
At first there were four of us: myself (Scoot), Dave, Corey, and Merrill. We decided that McDonalds (pronounced MAC-Donalds) would be a healthy yet satisfying choice for lunch this day. As we were eating we noticed a strange situation taking place across the restaurant from our table. A man ( homeless??) staggered in carrying an old fashioned alarm clock, complete with dangling cord and a 2 ltr. of Dr. Pepper. He was babbling loudly and a McDonald's employee was quick to seat him and provide him with a bowl of soup and water.
Well, by this time we were finishing up and Merrill decided that he was going to leave a little early to go pick up some dog food for his puppy dog. Corey, Dave, and I wished Merrill luck and decided to hang back and enjoy each other's company.
Mistake?
A short time later we noticed the man had become extremely angry and was yelling at a woman peacefully eating her salad in the booth close to him. He was yelling and laughing and really animated. Of course, the three of us started talking under our breath.
"wow, i can't believe this..."
"Listen to this dude!"
"haha...this is crrrazzy."
We noticed that the woman had become frustrated by the man's ridiculous antics and decided to leave. This is when Corey noticed the man had directed his full attention at us!
Corey began to chuckle, " I think he's talking to you, man."
Sure enough, this man was pointing in my direction and mumbling words like:
Baby boy!
Young boy!
Teenage boy!
I was terrified! What did I do?
Corey became serious for a moment, "Oh shit. He's coming over here!"
The man was like a combination between the old man in the movie "Home Alone" and a drunken old "Popeye". He walked uncomfortably close to us at our table and kept his balance by grabbing on to Dave's shoulder.
He was laughing and yelling and then we noticed the magic happening before our eyes, real home-made chili was projecting from his foul, dank mouth with every word and cackle!
We were all disgusted (especially Dave) but deep down we knew we were experiencing something few people would ever encounter. Corey kept the old man's temper calm by laughing WITH him instead of at him.
Corey's pretend laugh encouraged the man to laugh more, which caused him to produce more chili.
After a short time the man decided that he had made his point and walked back to his seat. We looked at each other, covered in natural man-made chili and smiled.
As we hit the exit we made sure to say goodbye to that magical man. We may not have understood a damn word he said but we sure as hell rediscovered the meaning of the word respect!